clever and hilarious: what if McCain wins...

Bill Kristol in the NYT this morning, turning the usual bromides on their ears (hat tip: Linda Christiansen)...

Barack Obama will probably win the 2008 presidential election. If he does, we conservatives will greet the news with our usual resolute stoicism or cheerful fatalism. Being conservative means never being too surprised by disappointment.

But what if John McCain pulls off an upset? I'm worried about my compatriots on the left....

So let me tell liberals why they should be cheerful if McCain happens to win.

1. It would be a victory for an underdog. Liberals are supposed to like underdogs. McCain is a lonely guy standing up against an unprecedentedly well-financed, superorganized, ExxonMobil-like Obama juggernaut. A McCain upset victory would be a classic liberal happy ending.

2. It would be a defeat for the establishment. Obama's most recent high-profile Republican endorser was D.C. insider Kenneth Duberstein. Liberals should be on the side of hard-working plumbers, not big-shot lobbyists — oops, sorry, big-shot strategic advisers and consultants. And Duberstein said that Colin Powell's endorsement was "the Good Housekeeping seal of approval on Barack Obama." Doesn't that comment embody everything that liberals (and many conservatives, including me) find creepy about smug establishment back-scratching and gatekeeping in America?

3. It would be a victory for the future. With President Bush's approval rating at about 25 percent, a McCain triumph would mean Americans were making a judgment on two future alternatives, not merely voting on the basis of their resentment at the past performance of George W. Bush. It would mean voters were looking ahead, not back. Liberals should therefore welcome a McCain win as a triumph of hope over fear, of the future over the past.

4. It would be a victory for freedom [supposedly on foreign policy and presumably on taxes].

5. A McCain victory would be good for liberalism. Look at recent history. Jimmy Carter and a Democratic Congress begat Ronald Reagan. Bill Clinton and a Democratic Congress produced Newt Gingrich. Who knows what would follow a President Obama and a Democratic Congress? Here's one possibility: President Sarah Palin.

From there, Kristol goes through the probable scenarios for a McCain upset-- before concluding:

If McCain wins, think of this column as a modest contribution to cheering up distraught liberals. If Obama prevails, I'm confident there are some compassionate liberals out there who will do the same for hapless conservatives as they hobble out to the wilderness.

Time in the wilderness would do the GOP some good (hopefully, a lot of good)! How painful would the time be with Obama and the Dems in charge?