CSI: Bloomington

From the AP in Bloomington, IN...

Police believe a church burglary has been solved through DNA found on a half-eaten doughnut. A 22-year-old man was charged with burglary in the January 2007 break-in at Woodhaven Christian Church. Police said a number of musical instruments were taken, but officers found a box of doughnuts in the church's kitchen and noticed a bite had been taken from one of the doughnuts....

There were so many other ways to title this post:
a.) dude, eat the whole thing next time!
b.) DNA from a doughnut?!
c.) donuts in a church? who woulda thunk it?
d.) stealing donuts? that'll really make the police mad!
e.) donuts and music don't mix
f.) dismeanors and donuts

Other suggestions?