tolerance vs. acceptance

A useful distinction in terminology-- but not well-defined here and ultimately begs the question-- from a letter to the editor by Veda Pendleton McClain in the C-J...

She opens with Obama's recent commencement addresses...

President Obama is asking us on many levels to move beyond tolerance and on to acceptance demonstrated through service.

Tolerance means that I put up with you, and that because I do so, I never have to examine my own beliefs in light of what someone else believes. It means that we co-exist without ever taking the time to truly understand each other in a meaningful way...

[A]cceptance...is a way of living that dares each of us to take the time to listen sincerely and to examine the points of view of others. It is through that listening and examining that we learn more about who we are as we learn about the lives of others and begin to understand them and ourselves. It is communicating clearly and loving wholeheartedly...

Move beyond tolerance to a life of acceptance as you serve others....

She seems to be describing a tolerance that ranges from apathy to a weak version of tolerance. Minimally, (true) tolerance requires some tension between beliefs. (The Latin word implies to "bear" or "endure". ) The absence of meaningful examination of one's beliefs is not allowed with "tolerance". (The examination may be flawed, but not absent.)

Her definition of acceptance is a strong version of tolerance-- a laudable thing. But it conflates two crucially different terms. True acceptance takes another step-- from understanding to embracing. And embrace implies value-neutral (you like pepperoni; I like sausage) or in its far more robust form, value-consistent (we both think it's ok to kill a baby in the womb). If you and I don't share values, then we can accept each other (in the sense of general respect for the human person) and we can accept each other's right to hold different positions. But we cannot accept each other's position.

A variation on this theme is when we profess the same values but have different data or a different understanding of the data. For example, you might believe (despite the science) that human life does not begin at conception. We cannot agree on the implications of abortion-- and again, we cannot accept each others' position.